My Angel
By Megan W, Sandringham
Angel was the most joyful, sociable, loving dog I’ve ever known. We were inseparable. My life centred around her and her needs, and she was my sidekick, partner-in-crime, confidante, sounding board, baby, fur child, best friend, constant companion.
There were very few places I didn’t take her with me. Most of what I said and did and thought was focused on her. Essentially, she was a human being to me, and for the most part, I treated her as one.
My grief is all-consuming, and the void in my life is immense. I cared for her as much as I could, and she recovered from every setback she encountered, so well that I really felt we had plenty more time to go. But God’s gift to me was due to be returned before I was ready.
So I need to deal with that the best I can, and create new adventures for myself if possible without her physically by my side. But I’ll be ever thankful for sharing 14 years with such a special animal, and the world and experiences Angel opened up for me.
I will always be her mum.
The following poetry is also written by Megan
CANINE FLASHES
A nosy smear on glass doors
A dirty streak
A bold stench
That guttural groan
And soft sigh
Lost in folds of blissful sleep
Running through the fields
Of dreams
Pacing late afternoon
Your belly calls
But the doorbell
Jettisons you to action
An extroverted delight
The rustle of your beanbag
The scrape of unmanicured nails
On floorboards
Head-butting obstacles
Damn those cloudy eyes
Wrong room over and over
But patience finds
Your cherished bed
Or another perfect place
For that long drift
Into oblivion
So short a time
So much life.
CANINE GLORY
Like a sea otter
She prances on the waves
Head raised to avert a salty flood.
She is lion and fish in one
Predator and victim,
Marilyn and Grace.
The boats bob and bow
Acknowledging her place
In nature’s chain.
My Angel
CONNECTION
I can no longer see the ocean
With my old and crusty eyes
But I hear the foamy curls
Gush onto the sand
Feel salty fingers
Tickle my whiskers
And the cheeky wind that
Ruffles my furry ears
The pebbles and grains
Beneath my paws
And taste the fishy sea
On my tongue.
The sunset glows on
My golden back
And I sense the
Expanse before me.
I know its secrets
As it knows mine.
I smell the myriad of
People that walk this beach
And the animals that lie
Beneath its depths.
I know more
Than you think I do.
GOLDEN HAPPINESS
She was all condensed milk ears
Honey rich and caramel bliss
That wet, woolly jumper smell
At the end of the school day
Rhythm of my song
Centre of my vortex
Pulse of my existence
Baby to my mothering
The loyal sidekick
Who with contented sighs
Absolved my sins
Solidified my promises
Stripped me to the heart
An angel who made me sparkle
With a lick full of the largest oceans
And the most expansive skies
Now the chasm digs deeper
The rock grows heavier
The friction of stones erase me
And my future paths
No longer have lamps to uphold me.
RANDOM GRIEF
I’m walking through a wasteland
Looking for your golden soul
But the streets are empty
And my heart will bleed out
If they ask about you.
My hands shake
My throat’s devouring itself
I can’t move the boulder
On my chest
And my mind can’t escape
Its enclosure.
You were the solid floor I tread upon
For fourteen years
Now that foundation
Is full of trapdoors
That I fall through
And it hurts
Badly.
I hang between earth and heaven
Wanting to be in both and neither
Just longing to be where you’ve gone
To make separation an illusion
A concept only for others.
What would I sell
To have back even a piece of you?
